London Gazette

 

Angel Corps To Arrive At New Kendal Base

August 1, 1910 ·

Her Majesty’s Angel Corps Squadron are returning to the Kendal airship base after travelling around the world on a mission to protect the world-famous Hodgson’s Indian Pale Ale from dastardly sky pirates.

The popular IPA recipe was said to have been changed by one of the factory’s automatons, who fell into a bath of the alcohol and was said to have ‘started thinking’ after he was fixed. While the automaton apparently altered the brew without the awareness of its manager, Mr Hodgson, some say this may have saved his dying business. However, Mr Hodgson – claimed he didn’t realise this automaton had the ability to think – refused to supply further comment on this strange machine.

The all-female squadron visited Kendal last year to see the progress on their new airship base, however they left a rather bitter impression on the local bars and their patrons after a series of fights broke out due to comments made by allegedly sexist barmen and customers. Hopefully the townspeople won’t mind the Angels returning – especially as they have chosen our lovely town as their base.

Report by Thomas Dodd (The Lakes Correspondent).

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Tinku Ranbir In Despair At Being In London

August 5, 1907 ·

When guests were invited to the Queen’s House for a Summer Fete in August, many didn’t realise they were going to get a firsthand insight into the personal, and what seems tragic, world of the Ranbir Family, who are current residents in the Royal House. The Ranbir's arrived in the country several years ago, at the request of the Queen. Chan Ranbir, a kinetic engineer at Calcutta University, and heralded as the man who put "Great back into Great Briain", developed the heart that powers the latest craze of domestic labour being championed by industry and the government. Tinku, wife of…

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Queen’s House Hosts Summer Fete

November 13, 1906 ·

On August 3rd, the Queen’s House presented a Summer fete at Her Majesty’s Greenwich residence. The event was part of an exhibition to showcase many of the inventions created to win the Longitude Prize. Guests were welcomed to the house by two current residents, Lady Frobisher Pilbeam - Queen’s Emissary to Science, and Tinku Ranbir - wife of Chan Ranbir, Head of Special Projects at the Dept for the Advancement of Sciences. Inventors showcasing their work, and competing for the £20,000 prize were Herr Doktor, Emilly Ladybird, Citizen Gryffdawg, and Doctor Geof. Many of the people who attended the event,…

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Reader’s Letter: Clocks are more Smarter than first assumed

November 2, 1906 ·

Mr Hardie, My warmest congratulations my, dear dear friend. Whispers on the breeze inform me that not only have you managed to dupe the world into believing you to have set your disreputable past behind you, but that the Royal Society itself has extended an invitation to its ranks. I could not be prouder; though if it pleases you, I shall always remember you as the card-rigging back street alchemist, I had to doggedly pursue at some considerable cost, may I add. With all my heart, I hope that I shall be toasting your success with you personally in due…

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Waiting For Salvation, Machine Liberation Front Roars to Life!

November 1, 1906 ·

The Machine Liberation Front (MLF), an organisation representing all Clockwork Servants has published a manifesto demanding equal rights for all automatons. The lengthy document calls for an end to "oppression and to end forever the murderous attacks, the slavery, the degradation, and humiliation". A Clock called Sebastian, who claims to speak for the organisation, says the MLF was responsible for an incident that happened at a venue called The Den in London, where a man was drowned, and another seriously injured. The document goes on to state that "The Clockwork of today, by and large, is no different from your…

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Mrs Ranbir Goes To Work

October 28, 1906 ·

A government department is to send the wife of the esteemed scientist Chan Ranbir on a nationwide tour to extoll the virtues and benefits of owning a Clockwork Servant. Tinku Ranbir, who has kept a low profile since she arrived in the country from India almost two decades ago, is to be the human face that promotes Clockwork use around the United Kingdom. This non-political appointment is already drawing criticism from groups such as the Machine Liberation Front, who say this is a desperate attempt to draw attention from several much publicised incidents of Clockwork abuse, and recent anti-Clockwork riots…

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Missing Girl is Viscount’s Daughter

October 25, 1906 ·

The mother and young daughter missing from a country estate in Buckinghamshire, are believed to be the ex-lover and daughter of Viscount Adderley. The police want to question the peer about the disappearance, but his whereabouts are unknown, and his family believe he may have left the country. The police also confirmed that the Viscount is a main suspect in the investigation, and that they are looking closely at his movements on the run up to the pairs disappearance.

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Angels To The Rescue

October 20, 1906 ·

A detachment of Her Majesty's Angel Corps, is on its way to Asia to protect vessels travelling along the trade routes, after several ships were hijacked by pirates operating in the area. The all female regiment is believed to have sent some of its finest officers to the region, in the hope that they will not only secure safe passage for other ships, but also win back goods and vessels seized by the pirates. A spokesperson for the regiment said they were "looking forward to the challenge, and they're the best team for the job". It isn't known where exactly…

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A Letter To India

October 18, 1906 ·

Dearest Uncle, I trust that this finds you in robust health and spirits, and that life as a diplomatic delegate has not been too taxing.  Perish the thought you should leave the lavish court of your bosom friend, the Most Noble and Glorious Padishah, and get some real work done gathering information and resources.  Or was the IPA theft something to do with you after all?  The Family all send their best, as does Mr Stirling, that is, he would do if he ever spoke a civil word. I do not know where father found him, but ever since that…

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