Angel Corps To Arrive At New Kendal Base

August 1, 1910 ·

Her Majesty’s Angel Corps Squadron are returning to the Kendal airship base after travelling around the world on a mission to protect the world-famous Hodgson’s Indian Pale Ale from dastardly sky pirates.

The popular IPA recipe was said to have been changed by one of the factory’s automatons, who fell into a bath of the alcohol and was said to have ‘started thinking’ after he was fixed. While the automaton apparently altered the brew without the awareness of its manager, Mr Hodgson, some say this may have saved his dying business. However, Mr Hodgson – claimed he didn’t realise this automaton had the ability to think – refused to supply further comment on this strange machine.

The all-female squadron visited Kendal last year to see the progress on their new airship base, however they left a rather bitter impression on the local bars and their patrons after a series of fights broke out due to comments made by allegedly sexist barmen and customers. Hopefully the townspeople won’t mind the Angels returning – especially as they have chosen our lovely town as their base.

Report by Thomas Dodd (The Lakes Correspondent).

In category:Main News
Next Post

Reader's Letter: Kendal's Guardian Angels

Well, I for one am elated to hear the news that Her Majesty’s Angel Corps are returning to Kendal. A fine, upstanding squadron as ever I saw. Upon their last visit I was privy to a scene in the New…
Read
Previous Post

Tinku Ranbir In Despair At Being In London

When guests were invited to the Queen’s House for a Summer Fete in August, many didn’t realise they were going to get a firsthand insight into the personal, and what seems tragic, world of the Ranbir Family, who are current…
Read
Random Post

Lady Lark Skyfried: Many Die In Conflagration

Yesterday, at shortly after 9-o-clock in the morning, Her Majesty’s Skyship Lady Lark was the victim of that which all aeronauts dread – skyfire. The blaze is thought to have begun in the lower stern of the vessel, where the…
Read
Random Post

Reader's Letter: Peace And Not Pieces

I was one of locals at the town hall meeting hosted by two mysterious men from Her Majesty's Airship Force, and have lived in this quiet little town all my life. Violence isn't a big issue here, the only time I've…
Read
Random Post

Chan Ranbir: "There's Nothing To Fear!"

Development of  the Clockwork Project will now move at a slower pace, according to Chan Ranbir, Head of Development, at the Department for the Advancement of Sciences. This was his first appearance since the government department closed its London offices…
Read
Random Post

Chaos at Science Show!

Attempts by Her Majesty's Department for the Advancement of Sciences to stage a roadshow showcasing its work on the Clockwork Project were thwarted by a Trade Unionis demonstration at the Latitude Festival, last week. Members of the Union for the…
Read