Timeline

Royal Pageant Creates Dark Skies Over London

    
 
 

Queen Victoria's Royal Jubilee got off to a flying start yesterday with a 5-hour long sky pageant featuring airships from all around the world, with millions ignoring the wet british weather to have a right royal knees-up on the street.

The London sky was turned black, as hundreds of dirigibles floated along the River Thames, each blotting out daylight in scenes reminiscent of last week's total eclipse.

Her Majesty was joined by other members of the royal family, and 20,000 invited guests aboard a series of specially built airships, lined up along the river.

The weather failed to dampen the spirit and determination of the country, as thousands hosted street parties, which organisers claimed had brought together an estimated six million people.

A spokesman for the trade union rights paper 'The Spanner', said more than 1,200 protesters had

gathered at two sites during the pageant. "We're opposed to celebrating hereditary privilege and power, at a time when jobs are threatened by the governments adoption of weird science." The person, who did not want to be named, was particularly critical of the amount of Ambinium used to keep the vessels afloat at a time of scarce resources, he said "this just shows the government has learnt nothing from past mistakes."

In other news, Scientist Chan Ranbir has accepted the post of Head Scientist, and will now lead research on the government's Clockwork programme.

If you have any exciting news or photographs showing how you celebrated Queen Victoria's Royal Jubilee, kindly contact us and we will endeavour to include them in our next issue.

 

Is Science the New Occult?

    
 
 

Science is a form of the occult, and part of an agenda to cull humanity in favour of a lifeless "eternal workforce" of robots, according to a new report published by a former scientist.

The reports author, Dr Flay, believes that scientists are part of a "white coat priesthood" supported by industrialists, the government and the monarchy.

Dr Flay Document

In a strongly worded and self published document, Dr Flay claims that the development of "Artificial Adam" is part of a conspiracy to make industry less dependent on human labour, and that many of modern sciences logical conclusions are "utter bunk".

Not much is known about Dr Flay's background or the type of science he practiced, but he joins a chorus of critics denouncing recent works carried out by Her Majesty's Department of the Advancement of Sciences.

Mystery Cult Determines Government Policy!

The document which we are reprinting in this weeks London Gazette, suggests that unless the government's so-called "Science Advisors are decommissioned and removed from positions of peculiar influence", the Saryn War that saw millions of young men die in the barren wastelands of Kazakhstan, could happen all over again.

There has been no response from the Church of England, neither have we been able to confirm whether Dr Flay is a Theologist or part of a religious group, but link between the occult and science is something the government had hoped to avoid.

London Gazette is proud to announce that our next issue will be a Royal Jubilee Special to celebrate Her Majesty Queen Victoria's 62nd year on the throne. If you have any stories, photographs or would like to write an article to commemorate this grand occasion kindly get in touch with the London Gazette.

Readers Letters

I would like to test the waters of interest in such a perambulation in one of Her Majesty's Parks of the Capital. Should such a gathering pique your interest, do let me now and I will arrange further leave form my Regimental duties.

Yours

Edward Urquart
Secretary of the Reform Club
Royalist Faction

 

 

 

 

 

Secret Film of Science Expo

    
 
 
 

Indian Scientist To Help Clockwork Project

    
 
 

Tomorrow's World… Today! the controversial science expo held in London this month, has attracted the support of an esteemed Indian Scientist who will be helping to develop the project.

Chan Ranbir, Head Scientist at the Calcutta University is on a visit to London with his family, and has been in talks with the Department for the Advancement of Sciences. He has worked in the field of Clockwork Mechanics for several years, and believes he can "breathe some life" into the project.

Scientists are not saying when the first model will be ready for testing, but work on the project may be disrupted by workers threatened to down tools over fears about job security.

A photograph leaked to the London Gazette shows a fully structured mechanical torso - far more advanced than the model on display at the expo.

Clockwork Prototype

In an exclusive interview published in this paper last week, Lady Frobisher Pilbeam - Emissary to the Queen - tried to address some of the concerns by saying "They (clockworks) should only be used to

perform tasks for which human beings are unsuitable", but the shroud of secrecy surrounding work at the Department is causing concerns across the country.

London Gazette expects a strong response to the news from the trade union representing the workforce at the department.

In other news, Her Majesty's Government will pass a new law restricting the development and use of home-made devices unless licensed by an accredited company.

The government hopes the new law will stop the development of amateur devices, and encourage makers to work with industrialists to build a strong manufacturing base. This will come as a surprise for many of the working classes who depend on income generated from the sale of such devices.

It is thought the Exchequer loses a significant amount from the black economy surrounding the sale of such items.

Police have issued a warrant for the arrest of a man know as the Alchemist, in relation to the theft of Government property from the Tomorrow's World... Today! event in London. It is thought the man may have had the help of several accomplices and they would like anyone with information to contact them through a special investigation team at the Department for the Advancement of Sciences.