London Gazette

 

Overheard in a London Pub

April 2, 1906 ·

Where lie the hearts of the common men of London, and why do they turn so readily to crime and to violence?  To those privileged to serve Her Majesty, or of sufficient means to elevate their homes and families into the untainted upper sky, that question seems impenetrable.

This reporter took a trek to the Fog-drenched pubs of the working class, seeking answers – for when the wine flows and a man is among friends, his heart opens and the truth issues forth.

Here now is an excerpt overheard at the Swine and Barrow, London.  One man who was suffering from a hacking cough, undoubtedly a slowly-expiring victim of the Fog, accepted this advice from a friend, with whom he was tentatively attempting to have a friendly drink.

“Ain’t no way to live, is it?” said the friend.  “There ain’t a hospital this side of the ocean’ll see you.  But you know, mate, I’ve a sure way of getting you away from this miserable —-.  Take my advice and you’ll be breathing clean air in a pinch.”

The ill man nodded.  His coughing kept him from enjoying his lager easily, but he bravely soldiered on, taking little sips.

“Here’s what you do, mate, here’s what you do.

You got to find yourself a shop – the kind fulla diamonds and pocket ro-bots and fancy hats.  Coppers standing on the street.  You go in there, and you find somethin’ nice – you find the fanciest bloody hat in the whole shop.

“You put your filthy little hands on that hat, and you run.  Out the door, into the street, right past the copper.  Not too fast, mind you, but give ’em a bit of a chase – if you can with your black lungs and your skinny legs.

“Now the copper’s gonna beat ya, but just keep a stiff upper lip.  In fact, maybe give him a couplea whacks for his trouble.  Sure as death you’ll be stuffed in a cool, airtight cell with a bag over yer head and a dozen doors between you and the Fog.  If you’re lucky they’ll ship you off to Australia, free of charge.  You can bake to death in the desert or you can rot to death while rats eat your eyes.”

The well man took a big, dramatic breath, which caused him to share a little in the ill man’s coughing fit.  But nothing was going to stop this fellow from his great, dramatic finish.

“But imagine the air, mate, that sweet, clean air!”

This was received with laughter all around, and the men toasted to innovative thinking.

by Celia Runham, Staff Reporter

Newer Post

Exiled Govt Scientist Found In Canada

The British Government is developing an air purifcation system, according to exiled scientist, Saccadeus Cartwright. In a recorded address to a Canadian audience, he suggests that work on the Clockwork Project has continued with the Canadian government blessing. Seccadius and other…
Read
Older Post

Science and Industry In Clean Air Talks

Government Scientists have held a series of emergency meetings with British Industrialists, in a bid to solve the current pollution problem. It is hoped that a solution will be found to help 'clear the air' of the yellow fog that…
Read
Random Post

EXCLUSIVE: Secret Film Of Science Expo

London Gazette has been handed a secret film, showing some of the happening at the Tomorrow's World... Today science event. The footage is grainy, but you can clearly see mechanical items on display. https://youtu.be/VWt0wWVKke4
Read
Random Post

Reader's Letter: Choas Reigns In London's East End

Mayhems All, Minutes from our Post-Curfew briefing have now been encrypted and will make their ways to your districts with the next Twilight Drop. You will also all be given updates on the Sifter Redelopment being researched in colaboration with…
Read
Random Post

Jack Ludd, Trade Unionist, Speaks Out

Friends, Events of the last few days have moved at such speed that I am having trouble keeping up with 'em. I am in transit at present so this note will appraise you of the situation but not much of…
Read
Random Post

Kendal Braced For Angel's "Homecoming"

Read

Comment on this

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You might have left one of the fields blank or be posting too quickly.

Thanks for your comment. We appreciate your response. Reload the page to see your comment.

Please wait a while before posting your next comment.

You are the first to comment!