London Gazette

 

Angel Falls from Sky to Thwart Dept Robbery

September 20, 1885 ·

Angel Corps recruit Sarah Bittern, 19, unmarried, leapt from a damaged airship last night in an heroic effort to capture a robber fleeing the former offices of the Department for the Advancement of Sciences.

Ms. Bittern, who was patrolling the area aboard the HMD Desiderata, continued to chase the man first via motor glider and then on foot, after the Desiderata ploughed into an unlicensed wireless tower.  The ship’s captain, Ms. Hildebrandt Beam, 41, widowed, was injured in the resulting crash.  According to her shipmates, Ms. Bittern immediately picked up the chase in one of the ship’s emergency exit craft.

The thief was identified as Linnaeus Kite, 34, a well-known distributor of pamphlets on the specious subject of aether sciences.  As of this writing, it is unclear as to the contents of the crate, which Kite snuck out of the research facility after impersonating a mover.  He has been detained, authorities say, indefinitely.

Hawk-eyed witnesses  noted the crate was designated ‘Chamberlain BCV6 – Liverpool.’  This prompts us to ask – who is Chamberlain, and what is going on in Liverpool?

“We’re all very proud of Bittern,” said PVT Amanda Bloom, 22, unmarried, “She showed great initiative and quick thinking in her efforts to protect the property of the Queen – even if it was a stupid move.”

She said the life preserving motor gliders on ships like Desiderata are not meant to be used in a high speed chase.

Gazette reporters were able to obtain an exclusive interview with Cpt. Beam as she recuperated in hospital.  She denied any knowledge of the new location of the Advancement of Sciences office, which was suddenly closed Wednesday and has been largely emptied.

“We aren’t on that assignment – but I hope whoever is, they’ve got a Bittern or two on their team,” said Beam, who is expected to recover speedily.  “Her Majesty’s vital research has no place in the hands of thieves and quacks!”

The owner of the wireless tower was fined 20 pounds and ordered to remove the obstruction.

Newer Post

Top Secret Clockwork Device Missing

A top secret Clockwork prototype is missing from a shipment of scientific devices cleared out of government offices, last week. The device, one of two almost complete prototypes, is in a box labelled "Chamberlain BCV6 - Liverpool". Only last week a…
Read
Older Post

Newsflash: Talks To End Strike Begin

Talks to end the dispute over job security for workers at the Department for the Advancement of Sciences have started. Representatives from the Union for the Casual Labourer  met Government officials last night, in a move to end the two…
Read
Random Post

Chan Ranbir: "There's Nothing To Fear!"

Development of  the Clockwork Project will now move at a slower pace, according to Chan Ranbir, Head of Development, at the Department for the Advancement of Sciences. This was his first appearance since the government department closed its London offices…
Read
Random Post

Angel Corps To Arrive At New Kendal Base

Her Majesty's Angel Corps Squadron are returning to the Kendal airship base after travelling around the world on a mission to protect the world-famous Hodgson’s Indian Pale Ale from dastardly sky pirates. The popular IPA recipe was said to have…
Read
Random Post

Govt Lying To Public Over Clock Project

Government scientists have been accused of lying to the public over the the scope of the Clockwork Project by someone claiming to be in the possession of the lost Clockwork prototype. In a series of leaked documents sent to us…
Read
Random Post

Advertisement

Read

Comment on this

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You might have left one of the fields blank or be posting too quickly.

Thanks for your comment. We appreciate your response. Reload the page to see your comment.

Please wait a while before posting your next comment.

You are the first to comment!