London Gazette

 

Angel Corps To Arrive At New Kendal Base

August 1, 1910 ·

Her Majesty’s Angel Corps Squadron are returning to the Kendal airship base after travelling around the world on a mission to protect the world-famous Hodgson’s Indian Pale Ale from dastardly sky pirates.

The popular IPA recipe was said to have been changed by one of the factory’s automatons, who fell into a bath of the alcohol and was said to have ‘started thinking’ after he was fixed. While the automaton apparently altered the brew without the awareness of its manager, Mr Hodgson, some say this may have saved his dying business. However, Mr Hodgson – claimed he didn’t realise this automaton had the ability to think – refused to supply further comment on this strange machine.

The all-female squadron visited Kendal last year to see the progress on their new airship base, however they left a rather bitter impression on the local bars and their patrons after a series of fights broke out due to comments made by allegedly sexist barmen and customers. Hopefully the townspeople won’t mind the Angels returning – especially as they have chosen our lovely town as their base.

Report by Thomas Dodd (The Lakes Correspondent).

In category:
Newer Post

THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT

Residents of Kendal have reported hearing a low continuous hum between 6-9pm every night. Local butcher Samuel O’Flynn says the noise, which he hears while closing for the day, could “clearly be the works of those new Clockworks”, however the…
Read
Older Post

Tinku Ranbir In Despair At Being In London

When guests were invited to the Queen’s House for a Summer Fete in August, many didn’t realise they were going to get a firsthand insight into the personal, and what seems tragic, world of the Ranbir Family, who are current…
Read
Random Post

Trade Delegation Turns Ale To Gold in India

The unlikely hero of the government's trade delegation to Asia is a small company that produces a British  Ale highly popular in tropics. The drink is made by the Hodgson's Brewery in London. The popularity of the drink has led to it…
Read
Random Post

Reader's Letter: Choas Reigns In London's East End

Mayhems All, Minutes from our Post-Curfew briefing have now been encrypted and will make their ways to your districts with the next Twilight Drop. You will also all be given updates on the Sifter Redelopment being researched in colaboration with…
Read
Random Post

Advertisement

Read
Random Post

Reader's Letter: The Aesthetics' Point of View

Ladies and Gentlemen, My name is Dr. Mortimer Granville and I am a doctor renowned for the medically treatment of hysteria, a diagnosis of women displaying an array of symptoms including nervousness, insomnia, exhaustion, depression, cramps, and sexual frustration. The…
Read

Comment on this

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You might have left one of the fields blank or be posting too quickly.

Thanks for your comment. We appreciate your response. Reload the page to see your comment.

Please wait a while before posting your next comment.

You are the first to comment!