London Gazette

 

Angel Corps To Arrive At New Kendal Base

August 1, 1910 ·

Her Majesty’s Angel Corps Squadron are returning to the Kendal airship base after travelling around the world on a mission to protect the world-famous Hodgson’s Indian Pale Ale from dastardly sky pirates.

The popular IPA recipe was said to have been changed by one of the factory’s automatons, who fell into a bath of the alcohol and was said to have ‘started thinking’ after he was fixed. While the automaton apparently altered the brew without the awareness of its manager, Mr Hodgson, some say this may have saved his dying business. However, Mr Hodgson – claimed he didn’t realise this automaton had the ability to think – refused to supply further comment on this strange machine.

The all-female squadron visited Kendal last year to see the progress on their new airship base, however they left a rather bitter impression on the local bars and their patrons after a series of fights broke out due to comments made by allegedly sexist barmen and customers. Hopefully the townspeople won’t mind the Angels returning – especially as they have chosen our lovely town as their base.

Report by Thomas Dodd (The Lakes Correspondent).

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