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August 27, 1885 ·

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New By-Law Makes Fog Signals Compulsory in London

Under London's new Conservancy By-laws relating to every steam vessel, when the steam is up, and vessel is under way, shall in all cases of fog use as a signal a steam whistle, which shall be sounded at least every…
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Newsflash: Talks To End Strike Begin

Talks to end the dispute over job security for workers at the Department for the Advancement of Sciences have started. Representatives from the Union for the Casual Labourer  met Government officials last night, in a move to end the two…
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Reader's Letters: The Aesthetics' Point of View 2

The Marquess Mallen and his family summoned me to clarify on my last statement. Thusly I will write several further statements from the perspective of The Aesthetics, each one punctiliously addressed to every dignitary respectively. Respondence to The Most Honourable:…
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Kendal Prepares For The Weekend Parade

Banners are up, shop windows festooned with posters, bunting criss-crosses the high street, and expectation level is at an all time high, as Kendal prepares for a Homecoming Parade that seems to have split the small town community down the…
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THINGS THAT GO BUMP IN THE NIGHT

Residents of Kendal have reported hearing a low continuous hum between 6-9pm every night. Local butcher Samuel O’Flynn says the noise, which he hears while closing for the day, could “clearly be the works of those new Clockworks”, however the…
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Hodgson's Beer Shipment Hijacked

Pirates have hijacked several shipments of Hodgson's "Indian Pale Ale" en route to Asia. It is not known where the incident took place, nor whether it was by sky or sea piracy. The drink, favoured by expatriates and locals around…
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